705 : A letter for you

It is 5th of July today. I’m sure you have inspired a lot of people out there throughout 23 years of your life. It gonna be a big lie if I say only myself did think so because having my life always so close to you, I swear I only gossiped and heard good kinds of stuff about you. (how possible this is actually?)

I don’t know if every younger sister out there also feel the same way towards their older sister like I do towards you, but I find myself adoring you since my childhood days. Back then, I always said to myself

“I should study hard, I want to be cool like Angah too” 

“I want to get straight As..”

“I wanna be a foundation student too…”

Little did she know, that every single thing she did become my goal and I kept on wanting whatever her achievements were, as the goal not knowing what I myself truly want. Just how much she means to childhood days of mine that I idolized herself a lot.

She was an inspiration.

Growing up together from the first day of school (preschooler) until the primary school days were all about her I told you. I was so surprised when the first time I experienced this: she taught the other preschoolers and I (I was 5 and she was 6 yo) that ABCDEFG… with a rotan guys at the front of the class with white board things. She was so determined and her voice was so clear I told you that I couldn’t believe she is my sister. I mean, she is my tarik-rambut and WWE partner, guys. After that, I knew that she would be the only one to replace Cikgu Shima when Cikgu Shima went out for a while. The surprise feeling became no more surprise, little me went all ‘AAAAAA, BBBBBB, CCCCCC’ all loud at the back of the class and went around boasting, hey…look at yah you know that’s my sister over thousandth time every time she was teaching. So annoying plus so extra me, I told you. The other some day, I went all silent, I was playing a doll and she was teaching at the front. So opposite of us. I knew she didn’t notice me cause if I let she found out, I’d literally…..

She was always the most stand out person in whatever she did. She was the face, center, leader, voice and even a state’s conductor for Perlis choir’s team. Meanwhile, I always went WOW that’s my sister all the time. I also joined whatever she joined because of how curious I was and ofc I knew that every spot she has been chosen as wasn’t an easy task at all. How can she be my biological sister? (read: grateful sister here)

She is an inspiration.

She came to Malacca, visiting me when she was UM’s undergraduate. She met my friends. She slept on my hostel just to feed her curiosity on how’s my life there. I don’ told her this but deep inside my heart, I knew she worried a lot. She was so friendly with my friends, they even liked her more than they liked me. (rakan-rakan ku is sooo tak bersyukur LOL) She came about 2 days (weekend) but it seems my friends were all praising her. Even until now, they keep asked her news. Not that I’m jealous or what, but I knew this would happen. Wherever she goes, people just like her. She is everyone fav!

Today, she already in somewhere, will be experiencing new things, she is the first to work among us three! I was so excited that only my roommate in Malacca knew how much I  want her to pass that scary interview phase. Alhamdulillah, I hope she copes well there! I know she will but still..I am wishing her the best, ANGAH.

I hope you have the happiest birthday ever. I hope you know that I’m very thankful and sorry for everything. I am writing this not because of your birthday. I am writing this, hoping that if you read this when you are so upset or down one day, (I know you won’t tell us till it is solved), know that almost everyone I grew up with, who know you, never once talk bad about you, how they wanna become like you as much as I do, I mean how great you have been and always be the great version of you. Don’t ever forget that. Don’t let anyone make you forget how far you have come and how precious you are to us!

 I found this word somewhere on FB. I really like this quote that somehow reminds me of you:

You cannot blend in when you are born to stand out!



apapun keberhasilannya..di bidang apapun semoga bisa membela agama kita

semoga dipermudahkan segala urusan aminn.






Hi everyone! What a long weekend I had last week but I had so much fun!

It’s SchiavonaXSytra event!

As glamorous as it may sound (yeke ceh), it was a moment full of laugh, happy and cheerful days of the weekend.

Schiavona which stands for my batch name in collaboration with Syed Putra or we did called it as Sytra, were planning to give a talk on things like after SPM path, university life and some motivation to those peers. We aimed for Form 4 and Form 5 students but, unfortunately, the Form 5 students can’t participate at the very last minute with their busy schedules and we understood them as we also once had been in their spot too. It was really lively cheerful and energetic with the youthful Form 4 students! They were all cute hehehe. (Am i like them too back in my Form 4 days? hahahaha..)

The event took about 2 days and 1 night. (Saturday and Sunday). Saturday morning about 8 or 9 am, the opening ceremony is started. I am not so sure about this morning programme since I came about 11 am. Basically, I just skipped this morning programme and they just had some opening ceremony and gave a talk on after SPM path: matriculation, STPM, foundation, and diploma. Oh, I just arrived Perlis in the very early morning (6.00 am), went straight to my home, rest and packed & prepared some important infos for the evening event.

Actually, I came earlier than the evening slot which is at 2.00pm for attending my brother’s class Birthday event. It was yummily heaven there, I swear. There were Laksa (we proudly brought Laksa Kuala), Nasi and lauk pauk, cream puff (sedap ya ampunn), dadih (in two flavours which are susu and jagung but susu is too yummeh i cant stop), puding caramel (like who on earth doesn’t like this dessert tell me tell me), birthday cakes (i don’t so into cakes so i gave it a pass), nuggets sausages and fries (that infamous trio i don’t mind them after i ate two bowl of laksa like erkk), and etc fancy delicious foods i can’t even remeber since i can’t eat them, I’M TOO FULL. Bless this class birthday, I will surely come menyibuk again 😀 #tahumakanje

Back to the event story, the evening event programme focused on University’s promotion(?) hahaha. More to we told them our University’s main courses, campus etc etc. The programme started with short speeches and videos from each university’s representatives and continued with University Talk in small group discussion. The students will move in groups and rotate and went to the university of their preferences. So, they could ask in detail about university things etc etc. In this section, they were a lot of students came to UteM representatives (read me) and asked itu ini itu ini and I as a goood UTeM’s students (self-proclaimed) answered them with some videos hahaha. #easierthatway I do gave them a short self-motivation telling them, you guys do not need to be worried. As long as you guys do your best, whatever outcomes indeed a blessing and planned by Him. Be happy and enjoy your school life. #seniorsangatceh

Okay, moving on to the night session, it was LDK session. I have randomly been chosen as group faci for group 10 and named as Pasti Boleh. (okay jangan gelak) Creating some cheers for them and having some chitchat with them. They all were funny and cute. We have so much funnn! Oh, I also curicuri tulang to sneak out from the programme for a while to go to koop! I miss koop so much oh no i mean koop’s food and memories. They will be forever cherished moments :’D I met my little brother and belanja him, and he only asked for Mamee Chef like ugh siapa ajar ni hahaha. Since the weather is rainy and so sejuk I understood his craving(?) so much that tak asramalah tak makan maggi heheheh. I went easy and belanja him yes that Mamee Chef okay don’t tell ibu heheheh. #alliance #jokejokejoke

Sunday’s morning was explorace session and my friends and I, were not the AJKs and we took that opportunity to bring back the old memories. #myheartiscrying We jalan-jalan from Form 5 classes (so sad they were only 4 classes left), we took pictures of us imagined us from 5 years ago in the same class (5 Delima) and at the same spot (bawah kipas belakang sekali). Me, from the left, back then i love writing so much, Fifah being Fifah sleepy all day hihihi, and Ika with calculator loving Maths. CLICK. Captured. We from 5 years ago. We went to 4 Delima (Fifah and I class), I at the back of the class tepi tingkap corridor sebelah Fifah. We talked and remisnicsed a lot, siapa ketua and pen ketua tingkatan, guru tingkatan and other clasmate’s positions. Uwuuuu sedih lah. Took some photos too there.


We went to aspuri jalan jalan and look at our old dorms. Tears in my heart :’D I feel old enough hmm. #emotional

Lunch? We lunch at the school canteen. I missed Kak Esah nasi daging so much! I miss my buka puasa essential drink oren susu! I literally missed everything about the school.

Sunday’s evening was another LDK session. I took some of the students’ pictures. Basically, they were volunteering themselves. ‘Saya saya! sayaaa!!’ Emm hahhahhaha. They are all youthful like that and I am a happy faci 😀


Pasti Boleh 😀


Err what is their group name? I forgot sorry qt.


Cekodok or Belacan group? Sorry qt.


Among fav group but couldn’t remember groups name. hii.





At 4.30pm, the closing ceremony started. Speeches from Pengetua and Ketua Pengarah SxS, (big thanks for them Azam, HafizJu and Chipmunk and other Schiavonas), delivered explorace’s winning prizes and some photos session. The thoughtful Form 4 students sang us infamous Tepuk Terima Kasih and we were all terharu. I really mean it. They were so good and kept saying that they enjoyed and having so much fun till the very end.

I learned a lot from this SchiavonaXSytra event.

Pure innocence feeling makes them has no wall or boundary. They support and cherish people with different background, group and person. They encouraged among themselves even though they were in different groups and when they united as one, I felt amazing synergy among them and I respect that. I love that Sytra have this kind of traits. 😀

To all family Schiavona who might be reading this, thank you! Being a part of this family is a blessing. Let’s join this event together in the future with the better version of ourselves  too:D

To dearest Zeatradous, do your best in whatever you are pursuing right now! Enjoy school life!

To Sytra familia, wherever we are and whatever we do, lets forever keep Sytra in our heart!



Little Two

Hi? Long time no see? HAHAHAA.

I’m sorry for the no-update phase. I guess I am in a phase that I want to tell you guys a lot but betul lah manusia hanya mampu merancang…fufufu. Oh, thank you for catching up with my endless rant and I am super happy because lately, I got a lot of notifications, marking my traffic is blooming. ***:D I’m half happy, half-questioned-myself scrolling back my old blog posts mannnnnn. Should write worthy read blog posts tho hahaha***THANKYOU GUYS 😀

Okay, so today (read: weekend) I’m not going anywhere. I miss ME TIME so muchhhh because I was so busy past these few weeks. I got no time you know to socialise, blog walking, self-talking, writing weekly planner or even have a heart-to-heart time with my roommate (Sya). Busy-ness(?) is good and gold (I do enjoy busy days, they’re gold) but I really need a day or two break time to stabilize myself back and regain back my energy level pheww. And now, bless you weekend! I am happy (to-be)  22 yo child.

I don’t know about others, but I certainly confident that weekend is CALL TIME right? I usually call my mum and talk (for hours) telling every little things, from my what-i-ate till my current-psm-progress (she is like my co-supervisor hehe so supportive throughout the whole thing i’m truly blessed!), talking with my sisters (we basically just fought with each others no sweet time pun HAHAHA but still it is the best way to care bout each other like come on we grew up in that weird and caring way fufufuuu), and talked about ayah, tok tokwan and adik(Sufi) dan abang(Solehin).

If you have followed me in twitter, you did knew on my over-worried(?) nature towards them. Adik is a standard 4 student but I still can’t think he is, we (all of us in the family) think that he still a 9 yo boy. He for sure didn’t like it but I still can’t deny that he’s really like a cute 9 yo boy. Maybe because he is the youngest one or because that someone in my family treat him like he is 9yo boy hahahaha (you know who you are because I am certain she is reading this hahahaha k k). Abang is quite mysterious and quite type personality. Totally opposite from bubbly Adik. Adik talks non-stop so it is easy for us to tackle him and korek any rahsia and problems he got in school. And usually he is the one telling the secret between them two. #cantreallytrusthimhahaha As cute he is, Abang differ in which he has that cold vibe from him. He is very expressionless, heartless and unapproachable. I don’t know whether this is remaja phase atau mencari identiti phase atau whtv phase it is, but it seems that he is naturally that way. It is okay to have that cold side of him, (i love cool person!) but for us, as family members, I find it is really difficult to korek any problems he got in his new school. Oh, he is Form1 student at my previous high school. I really love my high school days so I wanted him to do well there since I really find that it might be the best place for him to improve himself(?).

I am really aware and we (family members) already concluded that, it is no matter where he is, it is upon himself to find the good in every places. Basically, we agreed to that and my heart is at ease because during my high school days, the environment was super helping and inspiring, seniors were all kind and solehah. I JUST ADMIRE THEM ALL

Soleh is good in the way he will make us feeling like ‘don’t worry I’m okay here.’ He is so abang-abang like. Solving this and that on his own, and only call or tell us when he has no more option or literally incapable of handling things anymore. He is a very inexpressive person (like who?). There is one day that parents and family should come to meet their form’s teachers. He didn’t say and even show an ounce care if I attend it or not. I plan to go with my mum at first and cancelled it later because I’d think to stay at home. When he came home later, he asked me,

‘cakap nak pergi. kenapa tak pergi acik?’ I see his face with a little bit expression of kecewa(?). MANNNN.

I was soooo surprised. I felt soooooo bersalah. I thought that he betul tak kisah but hmm see, you need to cakaplah abang. Your sister is sometimes hmm quite nonsensical too you know. So I  was feeling so bersalah even up till now.

Adik and Abang both are their representatives of their school tilawah. I was so amazed because they really make us proud at such young age and in the field that even I find it is quite tough, to get in such opportunity. You go boys!

Sufi is already participated in the competition and got third place. We are so proud not because the place he got, but the lesson behind it. The hard work value through the learning process. Solehin is in training and learning process at school now. I hope he can do well and learn as much as he can and put aside the win-lose target.

I hope both of them are always on the track, always learning and find it is in a fun way. They inspired me as a muslim itself that learning is a continuous process regardless how old are us. It makes me questioned myself and makes me want to improve my bacaan too. They are so good and so knowledgeable that I feel so precious having them. Lets working on self-improving too!

All the best Solehin for your upcoming exams.

Congrats adik Sufii!

Congrats abang, second place is ahmazingggg.

During my high school days, I was so anticipated to see Sytra’s representatives to get any top 3 in Tilawah and Hafazan especially, other than quiz and syarahan. It was so hard  to make it in top 3 because the winner will always from sekolah agama’s participants because yeah, we all know how good and deserving them are. But nowadays, Sytra is also can! I hope these will be their first milestone to do even better in the future.

Congrats on proving us(school) capable in everything. #PROUDALUMNI

And good luck dear self, for your psm hee.


semester break :)


hi everyone! this post gonna be about my little ranting on my semester break.

eh. what? did someone mentioned semester break?!!?


okay,okay, i know it’s already off season, we already entering new semester tho. but i did promised you guys to post my forever-draft things and to update so i am working hard to blog about them all as soon as possible before i entering my third year college this September as much as i can before i getting busier. bet you’re like she’s really unpredictable. saying this and that, but then doing those. blerghh anis blerghhh. i am truly sorry for not keeping up with the blogs and promises i made. Dangg girl, someone’s attitude needs fixing. I know, i should stop making blog promises *cries a bucket*.

okay, a promise still a promise. you need to grant it once you promised. so, my little rant on my three months break starting here 🙂


My semester break officially started on 25th of June i guess (i can’t even remember the exact date but i think it is June 25 anyway). Sya (my roomate, classmate, gossipmate, aka my bestestfriend) and I took bus to go back to our hometown, exactly a day after our last (read:nightmare) paper. we usually took night ride because Sya couldn’t stand long journey of bus ride and she usually took medicine and just sleep till we arrived at Shahab Perdana. Oh, forget to tell you guys, she is from Alor Star (Kedahan guys lolol :p ). The journey from Malacca to Perlis usually took about 8-9 hours with smooth traffic. The bus departed at 9.00 pm and I usually arrived at 6.00 am. My family members (usually ayah, ibu or Along) would fetched me at Kangar bus station and drop me at Masjid Kangar to perform Subuh prayer and usually arrived home at 7 am. I basically given up my whole day that day to level up my energy luls (read: sleeping all day and waking up like zombie at noon). that’s basically what  my first day of my semester break i used to do. The remaining days of June, it was month of Ramadhan for us Muslim, so it was quite the same routine with other Muslims too (sahur, breakfasting, tarawikh and all).


Month of July was pretty hectic for me. July 6th was the day of Muslim victory celebration (read:EIDULFITRI). The whole beginning week of July was super busy moment for everyone. My mom and my oldest sister (read:OLDDD mihmihmih) was busy in charged in menu preparation, work division, groceries shopping, raya plans and etc. My older sister, Angah and I were busy cleaning our house, helping ibu and Along in making kuih raya and helping at Tok’s house. The first day of raya was crazy hectic. People was coming non-stop and went crazy over Along’s spaghetti. The little kids were all non-stop munching our kuih raya. They really in love with cornflakes madu. The makcik-makcik also really went all out eating our kuih raya including almond london, tart nenas and cakes. My mum was really happy but i was super duper happy since i had been part of both scenes, the struggling part of making those kuihs and cakes (read:ibu and Along) and the eating part lololol. Everything was worth it. Everyone was happy to boot. First Eid Fitri was basically among family, close relatives, neighbors and ibu’s close friend. Second Eid was pretty hectic too, we served the guests our annual Raya Main Dish which is my forever number one favourite, bihun sup. *everyone including me got crazy for bihun sup, i swear* people who tasted it before, would surely come again and asked ‘bihun sup ada?’ everyone just love it. should i summarise it, it totally food heaven here!! (read:my home) i’m not boasting here lololol. have a taste, next raya okay? second day raya was a visit from our relatives from Kedah aside from ibu and ayah’s friends. They all were super nice and love bihun sup and cakes too. lols. The third day raya was our turn visiting parent’s friends and relatives in Kedah but, i got a fever and my family went there without me because it had been planned. The remaining days of that week, there were friends of Ayah, Along and Angah that came by our house. Mine were been told not to come because i am not in good health and awkward much lolol. Next next time come to my house okay? haha. (read:forever next)

About two weeks after raya i guess, Angah and i had a short trip to KL. We went there about 3 days and 2 nights. Angah is in her last semester now, so she decided to brought me to her college to help her carried her bags and luggage. We stayed at UM college since she stayed there before, during her semester days. I don’t remember which college but all i remembered was only the college is outside UM. It is far from the main road. So the first day was basically the ETS ride, (i freaking love ETS lololol but i couldnt get any sleep there because i am too worried), arrived KL Sentral, took a cab to go to UM college and sleep. The second day was day out for me since Angah doesn’t really like outing things and all. She asked me it is okay to just go MidValley only? She must be really afraid if i got upset since i already came there. I answer her honestly that i want to go to the other malls but got okay after i found and ate Korean foods lololol. i got crave over Korean foods because it is hard to find them at Malacca. We just window shopping there and went to Muji, Daiso and mostly food and drink stalls and bought few things there. We went back to collage hostel in the evening and sleep earlier that night. Last day, in the earlier morning i helped loaded her luggage and lifted some thick books and notes from level three or something of the hostel. After everything was settled, we cleaned ourselves and packed our belongings and call the Uber person (dont’t really into this so lets skip this one) and arrived KL sentral and rushed to waiting platform because we thought that we late already. Fortunately, we managed to get in on time. It was quit memorable as i never visited her even i am just in Malacca. *i’m sorry i guess you are too busy, i’m just afraid if i’m troubling you hahahhaha :p*


This is my favourite month and 8 has always been my favourite number! so earlier days in August i went to Penang. To be precise, i went to Farah’s house.(read:highschool mates). My family and i had a trip to sent my oldest sister to Penang because she got her intern/practical at USM. Since USM and Farah’s house aren’t far enough, Farah’s family warmly invited Along to stayed there. Since Along got problems with her rent house, she finally agreed to stay there. Since, Farah is my close friend since high school, Along forced me to stay there with her without anything prepared for me guys. I mean clothes, sweets or yes my precious laptop. She kept making me felt anxious till the end and i ended up agreed to her idea to stay there only for one week. Actually it wasn’t been planned at all and i ended up stayed there a whole week. After my parents driving car home back to Perlis, we rushed to Kailan to bought clothes for me. I managed to grab a sneaker bar and milk hershey drink  with me. (that hershey milk is so delishhh lololol what’s wrong with me?!?!!) and we got back at home by Maghrib. After that, we ate dinner and we fall asleep. So, what i remembered the most during this Penang trip was that the whole family of Farah were so warm and lovely. I was grateful that they were so kind during my stay there. They always made sure that we were comfortable and our stomach are full all the time, i tell you. I even ate in large quantity for the sake of the food not being wasted even though my stomach sac is small luls. But the dishes were all tasty and yummy especially masak lemak and sambal udang hii. My grateful heart is forever thanking you guys! May Allah rewards you guys with abundant of happiness and Jannah 🙂 Thankyou Farah and family!

The next event during August was ehemmm.*coughcoughcough* my birthday celebration. okay, okay, i’ll stop here guys. (shoud have write a novel instead lololol).

I am really sleepy right now and tomorrow I need to get up early because it seems like Along already planned something for tomorrow. You guys too, have a good night! *yawnnnn….

April 15th


i have a long deep thought about my blog post tonight. starting from the suitable yet catchy title, to the personal entry that i have never wrote such as theme here (any social medias i have). but, i decide to write it anyway. bismillah.

15th of April. HAPPY BIRTHDAY IBU 🙂 obviously, it pass midnight now (1.17am)(whocares)(still15thformetilligotosleep). i couldn’t sleep. everyone else were already asleep ohh and i’m here, blogging emotionally in front of my not-s0-pinkish laptop together with one of my beloved meow meow, Junior (inserthashtagcatnamenowadays). okay back to the topic, this personal entry starting here.

since mom birthday is very important, i feel extremely emotional today.(it usually happens when i can’t express my feeling well). i hate myself of having this roller coaster emotion since i really can’t control it 😥 i’m sorry ibu. my heart for some reason feel melancholy today (i don’t know any other word to exactly describe this feeling). i’m feeling emotionally touched today. TOUCHED. around 11.44 pm, about 15 minutes before the 15th day of April gone, ibu sent a message in family whatsapp group thanked everyone for the cakes and presents. it was simple text. really simple. but i do feel something. during that time, along and angah were already asleep, ibu in her room and i am still fully awake in my room. i know ibu wells. i has the same traits with ibu, no no, i think all of girls in my family has this trait. we tend to have a deep feeling over a small thing. we are really dramatically emotional especially when it comes about family matters. IBU, we thanked more and always feeeling so grateful. Thanks God, she is my mom! ibu, i might have show nothing today except that normal happy birthday ibuuu wish. i know i always do it jokingly, in a funny way, in any other ways i could possible do as long as it doesn’t seem serious. i want you to know, that me too, wanna try wish it seriously, sweetly wish,

ibuu…have a warm birthday. lets be happy and do not worry much. all beautiful words people telling me on my personalities that i grown up with are all thanks to you, ibu and not to forget ayah. i will protect them all, those good values, positive vibes and any other numerous lessons you had taught me. i will keep them forever, inshaAllah. i wanna thank Allah, for giving me such as greatest blessing, that i couldn’t ask for more. for all those great things happened to me, protection on me from those devilish surrounding and bad people, and all those unforgettable kind people that always there in my journey when i couldn’t reach you (and ayah), before and even in the future, are all thanks to ALLAH and i know it were all because of your good deeds on people, your good manner with the older, your every day and night’s prayers, that i will not able to face my journey easily without those. alhamdulillah. ibuu, don’t be sick. i wanna fulfill all your dreams so lets wait for me. may Allah protect and grant the only one precious ibu i have, Jannah. ibuu, i love you.”



please remember, you are my first love and i am just too shy to show that i love you 🙂      my beautiful ibu ❤