being me

Hiii!!

What everyone is doing right now? It is 2.18 am now?!! Why are you still staying up at this time? Football? I don’t know anything about football, I have zero idea who is who. I only know Blue for Chelsea and red for Arsenal. Am I even right? luls. Aaa..I know the top 5 ranking of football team clubs. (few of them maybe) Okay lah kan?…

How about the others? Are you scrolling your social media accounts before you go to sleep? No worries, I do that a lot too. #rapuh Or are you watching movies? Well, it is night weekend anyway! Who can resist the temptation of relaxing night right? Or..it is just me thinking that way hehehe..

Me? What I am doing? Yah, well. As you can see, I am blogging. Hopelessly…with my big cup of tiramisu cappuccino drink. Watching KDrama? No lah. I have no time to watch them sobsob. I don’t even feel like to watch them because honestly, I get no time to watch them. It is okay, I can always watch them in my next semester break. #macamtakbiasa

Actually, tonight I am planning to finish some of my works. There are tons of them. I seriously don’t know which one should I do first and I just come to this…blogging guys. #pheww This is my stress-reliever activity so pardon me with my endless rants hehehe. Okay, let’s pray that I really work on my works after this. #notevenafinalyearstudent #thevibeisreal

Okay, let me update some of my schedules for next week.

  • robotic screw 3D drawing (not even know what type of screw a car rim use #notyourengineer) by Monday
  • meeting with supervisor (about PSM slides) before Thursday
  • must check and correct C1-C3 PSM report (format, grammar, content and it is good to adding more infos)  before Thursday
  • Pneumatic online test
  • Actuator test (should do my best)
  • Robotic class replacement on Friday is not yet confirm (tak payah ganti boleh tak hmm. okay okay kita harus ganti )
  • EPC slides
  • EPC presentation (please do my best! there’s no one that can help me other than myself. practice and be well prepare!)
  • chess training for FTK SPOC (i am so unprepared for this i am sorry but still will try my best)
  • TENANGGGGG ANIS TENANGGGGGGG

Hihihiiiii. I hope it is clear why I am being so cold and zombie look alike these remaining weeks. 😀

Oh, this semester I have edited 2 videos in only less than one week and what I can really say is that I love videography. If and only if I have a better camera I could pass to be a vlogger! eh..hehehe. No, this is too much right hehe. I mean, yeah let me do all the edit things cause I freaking love it. I even get acknowledgment from my Chinese groupmates! I show the videos to my sister through a video call and can you guess what is her reaction?

She is reactionless.

YES. She is. Hahaha. I said this to her,

apa lah macam tak best je. tak best ke sha?

tak…sebab aku tak nampak, tersekat-sekat.

(phewwww, nasib baik tersekat bukan tak best lol)

since it is education oriented videos, so I don’t think it is a good idea to share them here. Oh, I wanna explore video editing learning more hehe. Do you good at video editing too? #sharewithme

Note to self,

you gotta do this for you. not for anybody else. you got no second chance. you only have two semesters left for your degree. take some pain, and be happy for the rest of your life. your struggle is yours. live your dream, anis.

bye bye.

Growing Old

Hi everyone! Happy Friday 😀

Have you ever feeling old?

Nah..I am only 22, I still haven’t figure out my life yet. Nah…I am still young, as long as the number isn’t reached the 30 mark yet, I am still considered young.

Yes..am I really looked aged? I will turn 30 soon, I am becoming old soon enough.

Those might be the answers within us, ourselves.

Turning 22 this year, I had mixed feelings. Aside from the changes in number, I personally hope I am growing inside too. Growing old is a natural phenomenon, scientifically, and to look beyond that, it is also a sign from God that nothing last forever. Knowing this, as a human being, doesn’t it taught us something? How much we so into something, how much we hope they stay, none of them will forever here for us. We should learn that life thought us, it is temporary. Isn’t it?

To look deeper, I always tell myself whenever I get sad, down, hopeless, demotivated, I tell myself, ‘Hey, don’t dwell on it too long, it is temporary, it will surely pass’. Be it positive or negative feelings or things, they are temporary.

As the age is increasing, I hope so do my heart is becoming warmer. How I could express myself better, instead of writing here. How I should trust others more than I doubt them. I hope I could really ask “are you okay?” instead of asking them silently in my heart. I hope I could become a little bit more selfless.

I hope I define everything including myself in my own opinion and not others. Define my life purpose that is yet to figure out and don’t settle for what others said. If someone said xx is too old for marriage, xxx is too young for pursuing a dream, you are incapable, don’t settle for that. We do what we want as long as it is within the religion boundary. We human, have the different lifetime, so what it makes our stories the same then? It is okay to be different. It is.

I hope we ourselves becoming more open in discussing and learning new things. Learning to accept the differences instead of creating a barrier. When we have different opinions and views on something, we accept it as it is, like we want others to accept ours too. Accept that our point can be wrong too regardless how old our age is. Being older than anybody doesn’t mean we always right nor does we are always better. No.

It is a loss for us, to only grow old physically and not mentally. 

And..lastly, we should love ourselves more.

And more.

Bye.

Different.

It past midnight now, and I am seriously overthinking lately.

I think I am being hard towards myself and start asking myself what should I do with myself? I really hate blogging this kind of stuff but I somehow feel soooooooo (how do I put myself in words?) disappointed in me. I deeply mean, I feel so terrible.

I hate myself for being so anxious like this.

‘Am I being too hard on them?’

‘I should be less heartless, I should give in sometimes.’

These sometimes, being a routine. Eventually, becoming a habit of mine that destructively poisoned me inside.

‘It’s okay.’

‘If you are in minority, follow the majority. You’ll be safe that way.’

‘If something happened, closed your mouth and so your eyes. Nothing ever happen right?’

‘You have to follow and be okay for this and that kind of stuff, so you’ll be more likeable and have many friends.’

Comments on me:

‘You are unapproachable. I don’t like you.’

‘You are so cold hearted!’

‘Sombonggg..’

…..

OH MANNNN.

If and only if people really know why do some people never being too nice with the others, why do some people never let themselves have the gut to be as open or easy going as they actually can be, people would be so surprised at how actually they can do them well. The unfair stigma towards them is so unjust because I whose are a part of them, can really see the bad(s) and danger(s) both in me and people surround me when I act like that.

Outspoken. Too honest. Too firm. MANNNNNNNN!??!??

Oh, I hope I do stay that way. ( It is so selfish of me to stay so true to myself?) No, I’m not being stubborn. I do see my own lacking(s) . But, to say the truth straightforwardly and really at peace later is just good, rather than take a safe route saying good and talk back later. I just can’t take that so-called-safe-route. Why living yourself like that? It feels so trapped. Don’t you?

Silent on something need to be defended is not so me. I can’t brain this too.

Oh, toxic please go away.

I got lost in the deep sea of toxic.

Anyone who is feeling terrible like I am, here are the words from MindPlatter that i think can comfort us a lot. (Ig @najwazebian)

Don’t give them a taste of their own medicine. They already know what it tastes like, so give them the taste of your own medicine.

If they lied, let your medicine be honesty. If they played with your emotions, let your medicine be maturity. If they broke you, let your medicine heals… If they made you cry, let your medicine make them smile.

These remedies of yours may take years to work, but they work. And they last. So be patient. Stay true to yourself. And remember this; it is better for people to value you for who you are not for who you pretend to be. Who you are, lasts a lifetime. Who you are pretend to be, changes like the change in seasons.

Oh regardless, they are people who warmly accept me the way I am. ( no guys, i’m not being dipulaukan or whatsoever hehe. It just that my thoughts and me he.)

Disclaimer: It has nothing to do with anyone. Just me and my midnight thoughts. No offend.

BYE.

#nomoreemotionalblogpost

#nomoreemotionalblogpost

#nomoreemotionalblogpost

REAL BYE.

Hey, semangat!

“I’m too busy doing my routines. When will I have a chance to live my dream?” – Anis Atthirrah, 21 tahun, mahasiswi yang masih dilanda keraguan.

 

Hi, today is motivation day(?)!! Since tomorrow I have no class except for a lecture on final year project writing report, here I am 😀  Tuesday finally become my favourite day of the week (no class in the evening, no class for tomorrow morning!! Please jealous guys! hehehe no no i’m joking) Good energy, done doing some tasks earlier and now blogging time (with a mug of white coffee heavenly yummyy).

I have to admit, how difficult it is to be in a good mood all day. How much struggles it takes for everyone to be so positive when sometimes, things look all crumbling in front of you and some people yeah ermm kinda make us feeling unwanted-ly small.

No blaming, no hating, no revenge. Some things and people aren’t mean it the way we see them. That’s how life actually is. So tell ourselves good and pretty words. Because you know, that’s how it works. Don’t dwell on it too long and move on. It is more calming that way 😀

Dear self,

‘Balik ke prinsip awal. Kerja sekeras-kerasnya, usaha sebesar-besarnya, dan berdoa sebanyak-banyaknya.’

‘If you have any chances, go grab them. Don’t you ever doubt yourself and have faith in yourself, you’ll surely work them out! ‘

‘Setelah ujian itu seperti sebelum ujian. Hidup itu akan terus berjalan. Selesai ujian, bukan bererti tamat. Kita bakal menempuh ujian lagi, dan harus belajar lagi. Lagi dan lagi…’

‘Studying so hard to be the best for myself and to create my future that I’ve been dreaming of.’

‘kalau hidup itu bukan cuma tentang saya, saya, dan saya.’

‘I will graduate soon enoughhh!!!’

 

 

I’m on my way to success. Semangat, Nis.

done caffeinated. bye.

PERSONALITY TEST for FUN!

Assalammualaikum and hi everyone!

I did a personality test (maybe-just-a-random-test) that based on birth date and full name yesterday. HIHI. I know this is kinda childish but yeah Anis, you’re already 22 (but young at heart right?). *cehhh* Okay, so what’s interesting about this personality test is that, i kinda feel that it has major definition about me! Almost 90% of that personality test is really me lolol. It is okay to have that kind of confidence Anis, this is your blog anyway hehehe.

Okay, first thing first, it said that i got brown wolf. Brown is not okay because i love that pink colour (this unhealty obsession is so ish ishh) but i started to realise that lately, i became a fan of earth’s colour tone(s) hehehe. Wolf is kinda scary but that cartoon given is no that bad, so i gave it a pass. I comforting myself, ‘wolf is not scary animal, it is just its vibes that gave off mysterious feeling, right?’ *cehhsangat* #JK  From scary personality to mysterious personality real fast! hehe. 😀

This is what i got:

Screenshot 2017-01-30 02.24.12.png

And here are the character descriptions:

Brown Wolf person tend to be cheerful and innocent, yet have something that makes other people difficult to approach you. (that last part is so true!)
Your personality is that you are a not double faced person. (people around me keep saying that i am too honest?! okay, i am agreeing on it too! Both in good and bad way)
You are very precise and honest. (Quite detail? hehe #cerewetmungkin)
Once your curiosity is stimulated, you would pursue the matter enthusiastically and thoroughly. You have the ability to not give up in mid way. (this make me hardly to move on on things, edu, music, etc; literally life)
However, your confidence tends to result in unkind attitude towards the others. Your words can hurt the other people’s feelings. (Oh my but that’s also TRUEE)
Nevertheless, you respect obligations and have the heart to serve others.
You can not turn down favors. You tend to take on favors without thinking much about it, and therefore may experience financial loss. (OMG, but not apply 100% on me)
When angry, you tend to get uptight like children. (SO TRUEE)
You don’t get attached to the norm of the society or the human relationship. (yepp!)
If you get too strong headed about your own opinion; people may think you as narrow minded man.
The way that you steadily and surely go your own way, will help you gain trust in the society and in organizations.( I can relate to this so muchhhh)

Although you have good fortune, once you lose your courage, you tend to turn to alcohol and women. (Once I get upset, down in exam esp. it takes me a lot of courages even to smile again. so susahh nak move onn)
This may lead you to great failure, so be careful. (I will be careful. Noted :’))
You are a late starter, so don’t rush into things.
It is important to first build foundation when young. (Slowly but surely Anisss!!)

Okay, that’s all for todayyyy merapu-ness.

Heyy, you guys can try the personality test too. It is up to you whether to agree with it or not hehe. It is just for fun anyway hewhew. You guys can share yr result with me too lolol! I bet is there any hahaha. Link below:

http://world.doubutsu-uranai.com

Okay, have fun guys hiii.

Hingga ketemu lagi and thank you fr reading this bpost. BYE!