The Good(s) in the Bad

Hi!

Oh, I know I come here way too often. Pardon me. Blame the stress, please. I get myself a treat to blog for a while, as a stress reliever (this is the most economical method) specifically dedicated to my mental health, myself. I have been in the love-hate relationship with literally everything; my PSM, assignments, food appetite and sleep cycle. I really respect those who have survived degree life. You guys are too superior!

Do you know what are the good things when we are productive? I realize that I have become more careless which is good. I basically don’t even care if something didn’t work the way it should be, as long as it works, it is fine for me then. I didn’t care if I did the work alone as long as it is finished, I am good then. Basically, the goal is to finish them all. I have no time to overthink if whether my thesis report will be rejected or not perfect enough (ofc), instead, I keep correcting, adding info(s) and double working on perfecting them. I mean look, this once an-overthinker, now have less worry and learn to give her best effort. Look at how much myself is improving. #icry The whole process that took my sleepless nights with me in tears made me somehow really wanna get this project to the next level. #itry

I have definitely sleep and eaten less which I don’t know these are a good or bad thing. I mean, well if I eat less, I am not sleepy and I can do work all day all night. #consistentme My work will finish on time. But, ofc it is not a  good habit. I don’t know why I am like this. #pleasedonttellibu I mean, the good is that I am no more craving for foods or drinks like cendol durian, laksa, bihun sup and etc. Now that I don’t even have time to crave over anything, I eat whatever. #mudah

I also feel indebtedness to all my family members when I can’t even utter a word over a phone call. My mom knows my silence phone call. My mom knows all the meanings of my ‘ibu, tirah nak balik boleh?’, my silent days without a phone call from me, that she knows it means that I’m having a super bad day that I didn’t want to share with anyone. Do a mom and the family members always be this perfect?

Oh, that it is.

How about yours? What is your good?

I will blog later, again to continue with my ranting about life.

TADAAA.

Advertisements

BEING A THIRD YEAR ENGINEERING STUDENT

‘you cannot afford to waste time.’ – Anis Atthirrah, 2017 UTeM’s undergraduate.

Hi everyone!

As much as everyone is getting busier, so do I. I had never know a degree student will have at least this much pressure. You got one group assignment and you barely had few days to make it into a final quality video. On top of that, you got about another 4 assignments that had overlap deadline and ofc you have a problem with your energy level. (someone’s body sugar level is so lowww) And this routine, bitter truth it is on repeat every day, week, up to the whole semester, and it gets crazier once we are so close to the final year. Being a student, having these big responsibilities, I mean despite business we have, we still have to watch our work quality, attend classes, quizzes, tests, tutorials, reports, and also the on-going psm project (the one I want it to succeed so bad), without neglecting our social life part too :’) We still need to have time for our friends and ofc with our main tulang belakang, our family members. How much time we spent with them, is incomparable with what education has to offer us. Right?

But, being a good student doesn’t teach us to blatantly give excuses when time gets tough. “I can’t do this.” “I can’t finish that.” “Hey, look I am super busy. Please understand me.” and so the unnecessary words go on. I myself don’t even know why sometimes it is so frustrating when some people really take things for granted. I know sometimes, we are as a human, get physically and mentally exhausted too and when it gets worse, we become extra sensitive over the smallest things.

I admit that we are all like that, sometimes. I sometimes got extra disappointed when I thought I had done my very best and when I just asked people for come for a meeting, the waiting game is real and I am so speechless. I am in a wrong mindset too, never listen to their stories. Ofc, people has their own reasons and I understand that. My point is, we got too tired that our heart is so fragile that it could break anytime soon over one smallest mistake that makes people misunderstanding each other. It just could be easier.

We always think that we are the only one who did this and did that and thought why people being so mean towards us. People just can’t understand us and just being hard enough on us. We think we are the victim but we are not. Some people just had it way harder than us. Just because they always show up for every occasion, look energetic and bright all the time, doesn’t mean they don’t deserve the spot of being tired like we are. Just only because they are all silent. Just only because they don’t show you people how much works were done by them to make the other people’s work much easier. The silent sleepless nights are all to us are nothing just because we didn’t know. Let’s from now on, think of others’ shoes too.

People might disagree with me on this one, stay up till very late at night or doesn’t sleep at all and didn’t show up for tomorrow morning classes. As a student who comes to every single class despite those true excuses (some reasons are acceptable regardless), when the lecturer asks us ‘where are your friends, do they OTW to class?’, I really feel sad somehow. It is not about you are a good student if you come to every class, NO. It is NOT like that. It is about ‘respect’ or manner. You always can give any excuses you want (unpreferable) but please inform the lecturers. They do not get paid for waiting for us.

Being productive these days, it makes me happier. I felt energetic even though physically, I look old enough (because of my tired face) and heartless human being on the earth with those dark circles, I enjoy my degree days. I learn a lot. 😀

I hope everyone is having good days ahead and achieve whatever goals we dream.

Till then, all the best everyone.

#imgoingtoworkonmypsm #prayforme

SchiavonaXSytra

17799187_1521063174571652_1413815357356295955_n

Hi everyone! What a long weekend I had last week but I had so much fun!

It’s SchiavonaXSytra event!

As glamorous as it may sound (yeke ceh), it was a moment full of laugh, happy and cheerful days of the weekend.

Schiavona which stands for my batch name in collaboration with Syed Putra or we did called it as Sytra, were planning to give a talk on things like after SPM path, university life and some motivation to those peers. We aimed for Form 4 and Form 5 students but, unfortunately, the Form 5 students can’t participate at the very last minute with their busy schedules and we understood them as we also once had been in their spot too. It was really lively cheerful and energetic with the youthful Form 4 students! They were all cute hehehe. (Am i like them too back in my Form 4 days? hahahaha..)

The event took about 2 days and 1 night. (Saturday and Sunday). Saturday morning about 8 or 9 am, the opening ceremony is started. I am not so sure about this morning programme since I came about 11 am. Basically, I just skipped this morning programme and they just had some opening ceremony and gave a talk on after SPM path: matriculation, STPM, foundation, and diploma. Oh, I just arrived Perlis in the very early morning (6.00 am), went straight to my home, rest and packed & prepared some important infos for the evening event.

Actually, I came earlier than the evening slot which is at 2.00pm for attending my brother’s class Birthday event. It was yummily heaven there, I swear. There were Laksa (we proudly brought Laksa Kuala), Nasi and lauk pauk, cream puff (sedap ya ampunn), dadih (in two flavours which are susu and jagung but susu is too yummeh i cant stop), puding caramel (like who on earth doesn’t like this dessert tell me tell me), birthday cakes (i don’t so into cakes so i gave it a pass), nuggets sausages and fries (that infamous trio i don’t mind them after i ate two bowl of laksa like erkk), and etc fancy delicious foods i can’t even remeber since i can’t eat them, I’M TOO FULL. Bless this class birthday, I will surely come menyibuk again 😀 #tahumakanje

Back to the event story, the evening event programme focused on University’s promotion(?) hahaha. More to we told them our University’s main courses, campus etc etc. The programme started with short speeches and videos from each university’s representatives and continued with University Talk in small group discussion. The students will move in groups and rotate and went to the university of their preferences. So, they could ask in detail about university things etc etc. In this section, they were a lot of students came to UteM representatives (read me) and asked itu ini itu ini and I as a goood UTeM’s students (self-proclaimed) answered them with some videos hahaha. #easierthatway I do gave them a short self-motivation telling them, you guys do not need to be worried. As long as you guys do your best, whatever outcomes indeed a blessing and planned by Him. Be happy and enjoy your school life. #seniorsangatceh

Okay, moving on to the night session, it was LDK session. I have randomly been chosen as group faci for group 10 and named as Pasti Boleh. (okay jangan gelak) Creating some cheers for them and having some chitchat with them. They all were funny and cute. We have so much funnn! Oh, I also curicuri tulang to sneak out from the programme for a while to go to koop! I miss koop so much oh no i mean koop’s food and memories. They will be forever cherished moments :’D I met my little brother and belanja him, and he only asked for Mamee Chef like ugh siapa ajar ni hahaha. Since the weather is rainy and so sejuk I understood his craving(?) so much that tak asramalah tak makan maggi heheheh. I went easy and belanja him yes that Mamee Chef okay don’t tell ibu heheheh. #alliance #jokejokejoke

Sunday’s morning was explorace session and my friends and I, were not the AJKs and we took that opportunity to bring back the old memories. #myheartiscrying We jalan-jalan from Form 5 classes (so sad they were only 4 classes left), we took pictures of us imagined us from 5 years ago in the same class (5 Delima) and at the same spot (bawah kipas belakang sekali). Me, from the left, back then i love writing so much, Fifah being Fifah sleepy all day hihihi, and Ika with calculator loving Maths. CLICK. Captured. We from 5 years ago. We went to 4 Delima (Fifah and I class), I at the back of the class tepi tingkap corridor sebelah Fifah. We talked and remisnicsed a lot, siapa ketua and pen ketua tingkatan, guru tingkatan and other clasmate’s positions. Uwuuuu sedih lah. Took some photos too there.

IMG-20170402-WA0091

We went to aspuri jalan jalan and look at our old dorms. Tears in my heart :’D I feel old enough hmm. #emotional

Lunch? We lunch at the school canteen. I missed Kak Esah nasi daging so much! I miss my buka puasa essential drink oren susu! I literally missed everything about the school.

Sunday’s evening was another LDK session. I took some of the students’ pictures. Basically, they were volunteering themselves. ‘Saya saya! sayaaa!!’ Emm hahhahhaha. They are all youthful like that and I am a happy faci 😀

C360_2017-04-02-09-46-33-244

Pasti Boleh 😀

C360_2017-04-02-09-47-23-654

Err what is their group name? I forgot sorry qt.

C360_2017-04-02-09-47-52-976

Cekodok or Belacan group? Sorry qt.

C360_2017-04-02-09-48-13-786

Among fav group but couldn’t remember groups name. hii.

C360_2017-04-02-09-48-39-301

Cobra

C360_2017-04-02-09-49-00-955

Tiger

At 4.30pm, the closing ceremony started. Speeches from Pengetua and Ketua Pengarah SxS, (big thanks for them Azam, HafizJu and Chipmunk and other Schiavonas), delivered explorace’s winning prizes and some photos session. The thoughtful Form 4 students sang us infamous Tepuk Terima Kasih and we were all terharu. I really mean it. They were so good and kept saying that they enjoyed and having so much fun till the very end.

I learned a lot from this SchiavonaXSytra event.

Pure innocence feeling makes them has no wall or boundary. They support and cherish people with different background, group and person. They encouraged among themselves even though they were in different groups and when they united as one, I felt amazing synergy among them and I respect that. I love that Sytra have this kind of traits. 😀

To all family Schiavona who might be reading this, thank you! Being a part of this family is a blessing. Let’s join this event together in the future with the better version of ourselves  too:D

To dearest Zeatradous, do your best in whatever you are pursuing right now! Enjoy school life!

To Sytra familia, wherever we are and whatever we do, lets forever keep Sytra in our heart!

#BaktiSchiavona

#givingbacktocommunity