The Good(s) in the Bad

Hi!

Oh, I know I come here way too often. Pardon me. Blame the stress, please. I get myself a treat to blog for a while, as a stress reliever (this is the most economical method) specifically dedicated to my mental health, myself. I have been in the love-hate relationship with literally everything; my PSM, assignments, food appetite and sleep cycle. I really respect those who have survived degree life. You guys are too superior!

Do you know what are the good things when we are productive? I realize that I have become more careless which is good. I basically don’t even care if something didn’t work the way it should be, as long as it works, it is fine for me then. I didn’t care if I did the work alone as long as it is finished, I am good then. Basically, the goal is to finish them all. I have no time to overthink if whether my thesis report will be rejected or not perfect enough (ofc), instead, I keep correcting, adding info(s) and double working on perfecting them. I mean look, this once an-overthinker, now have less worry and learn to give her best effort. Look at how much myself is improving. #icry The whole process that took my sleepless nights with me in tears made me somehow really wanna get this project to the next level. #itry

I have definitely sleep and eaten less which I don’t know these are a good or bad thing. I mean, well if I eat less, I am not sleepy and I can do work all day all night. #consistentme My work will finish on time. But, ofc it is not a  good habit. I don’t know why I am like this. #pleasedonttellibu I mean, the good is that I am no more craving for foods or drinks like cendol durian, laksa, bihun sup and etc. Now that I don’t even have time to crave over anything, I eat whatever. #mudah

I also feel indebtedness to all my family members when I can’t even utter a word over a phone call. My mom knows my silence phone call. My mom knows all the meanings of my ‘ibu, tirah nak balik boleh?’, my silent days without a phone call from me, that she knows it means that I’m having a super bad day that I didn’t want to share with anyone. Do a mom and the family members always be this perfect?

Oh, that it is.

How about yours? What is your good?

I will blog later, again to continue with my ranting about life.

TADAAA.

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BEING A THIRD YEAR ENGINEERING STUDENT

‘you cannot afford to waste time.’ – Anis Atthirrah, 2017 UTeM’s undergraduate.

Hi everyone!

As much as everyone is getting busier, so do I. I had never know a degree student will have at least this much pressure. You got one group assignment and you barely had few days to make it into a final quality video. On top of that, you got about another 4 assignments that had overlap deadline and ofc you have a problem with your energy level. (someone’s body sugar level is so lowww) And this routine, bitter truth it is on repeat every day, week, up to the whole semester, and it gets crazier once we are so close to the final year. Being a student, having these big responsibilities, I mean despite business we have, we still have to watch our work quality, attend classes, quizzes, tests, tutorials, reports, and also the on-going psm project (the one I want it to succeed so bad), without neglecting our social life part too :’) We still need to have time for our friends and ofc with our main tulang belakang, our family members. How much time we spent with them, is incomparable with what education has to offer us. Right?

But, being a good student doesn’t teach us to blatantly give excuses when time gets tough. “I can’t do this.” “I can’t finish that.” “Hey, look I am super busy. Please understand me.” and so the unnecessary words go on. I myself don’t even know why sometimes it is so frustrating when some people really take things for granted. I know sometimes, we are as a human, get physically and mentally exhausted too and when it gets worse, we become extra sensitive over the smallest things.

I admit that we are all like that, sometimes. I sometimes got extra disappointed when I thought I had done my very best and when I just asked people for come for a meeting, the waiting game is real and I am so speechless. I am in a wrong mindset too, never listen to their stories. Ofc, people has their own reasons and I understand that. My point is, we got too tired that our heart is so fragile that it could break anytime soon over one smallest mistake that makes people misunderstanding each other. It just could be easier.

We always think that we are the only one who did this and did that and thought why people being so mean towards us. People just can’t understand us and just being hard enough on us. We think we are the victim but we are not. Some people just had it way harder than us. Just because they always show up for every occasion, look energetic and bright all the time, doesn’t mean they don’t deserve the spot of being tired like we are. Just only because they are all silent. Just only because they don’t show you people how much works were done by them to make the other people’s work much easier. The silent sleepless nights are all to us are nothing just because we didn’t know. Let’s from now on, think of others’ shoes too.

People might disagree with me on this one, stay up till very late at night or doesn’t sleep at all and didn’t show up for tomorrow morning classes. As a student who comes to every single class despite those true excuses (some reasons are acceptable regardless), when the lecturer asks us ‘where are your friends, do they OTW to class?’, I really feel sad somehow. It is not about you are a good student if you come to every class, NO. It is NOT like that. It is about ‘respect’ or manner. You always can give any excuses you want (unpreferable) but please inform the lecturers. They do not get paid for waiting for us.

Being productive these days, it makes me happier. I felt energetic even though physically, I look old enough (because of my tired face) and heartless human being on the earth with those dark circles, I enjoy my degree days. I learn a lot. 😀

I hope everyone is having good days ahead and achieve whatever goals we dream.

Till then, all the best everyone.

#imgoingtoworkonmypsm #prayforme

Short Update

Hi?! I’m here AGAINNN…. Like seriuslah again?!?? Come on, where else do I can rant as much as I want if not here. Hehe. Pardon me. Because more random-actually-post-depression-blogposts to come. 😀

I am here to give a lecture on ROBOTKU WHY SO COMPLICATED.

WHY WHYYY WHYYYY(?)

K k k k. It is not. It is not that complicated. I am overreacting. I am that drama queen.  It gonna be so successful, right? AMINNN..

Oh, alang-alang dah sebut pasal psm ni, adalah satu petang tu, my friends (Alyaa and Sya) and I were having sembang petang session. Me being me, I was multitasking at my best.(?) No. Of course not. I am not a multitasker person and I am seriously bad at it. I just that bad to the point even when I was typing while talking or listening, I will end up typing those words instead. So, pretty sure, this multitasking thing wasn’t for me. Hmmm. I don’t like multitasking either. Hahaha. Ceh. Okay, at that time, I was reviewing some articles and journals (both hardcopies and softcopies). Basically, my left hand holding my phone (charging state), my right-hand holding a pencil with lappy in front of me with few papers of articles. My robot and extra electrical components are on the floor near with me. ( I know bahaya so careless).

Alyaa was talking, and she is the type yang her hand will find something and gesel-gesel (rubbing) things she grabbed unconsciously whether she talking or listening. Unfortunately, she sat besides me. MANNNN. Sya was a little bit far from us. She sat on her bed at that time.

I just got back from ordering a new battery and I put the old (kembung) battery on the floor. So you guys can figure it out already. YESS. Alyaaa grabbed that old kembung battery and she even rubbed them. HAHAHAHA. Okay its not funny but, she suddenly terjerit kecil and cakap,

‘Eh kenapa panas ni? Cuba rasa ni.’ She passed that old battery to me.

I am being careless electrical student, took and even touched the main conductor part (konon nak check lah) and went AUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHCHHHHH. Panas ya ampunnnnnn.

MANNNNNN.

Sya had it worse. After seeing my reaction, Sya got all curious and wanted to try it herself and checked if we tipu her hahahaha. She grabbed the insulated part (wire), #wiserthanus and the conductor part (have two) were touched and THERE WAS A SPARKKKK!!!!

All of us terus letak that old battery jauhjauh. MashaAllah.

Bahaya. Lagi bahaya kalau careless. Sebab perempuan kan macam you know, tak cool sangat. macam mana nak masuk industri ni. #banyaklagikenabelajar

And till now, I still scared to touch and take that old battery. Tak  buang lagi cause need a little reference selagi new batt tak sampai lagi.HMM. I jokingly said to them,

‘masih beruntung, kalau tak sorang dah Elbert Einsten, sorang lagi Thomas Edison’

hmmmmmm.

Tolonglah diri sendiri fokus buat kerja jangan careless lagi. AHAHAHA.

Okay, done.

Sambung buat kerja.

Bye. MALEMMMM.