Dean List Award

Assalammualaikum and hi everyone! Happy weekenddddddd! (okay tomorrow is Monday again. Why don’t we have Sunday(s) per weekend? #ridiculous)

Today’s blogpost title is so ambitious and over-exaggerate, right? As cheesy as it might sound to some other people, this blogpost is a long time draft that i have been thinking about whether or not should i posting it. And it seems like i can’t really giving up on my blogging nature. So, i am writing this. But, it is not about grade or academic related, i am writing this to share or to be precise, to express what do i see behind these DL award.

Oh, i am not a 4.0 students (maybe not yet hihi) nor do i am every semester dean list student. No. So, i have been in both phase; not and a DL student throughout 5 semesters degree student. What do i say?

In my opinion, i have always hoped that i can get a good result in every semester with the pointer (GPA) as my guide reference. Does it make sense? 3.5 and above mark it as it is a good semester. Below than that means I still in average and lacking both skills and theoretical knowledge. Does it really make sense?

It is really upon to personal preferences. Some people think exam and grades are so important. Having strong fundamental theory is the key and the most important factor. Without basic knowledge, how do we gonna learning skills and etc.

Some people just couldn’t care less about grades and exam stuff. They are more into skills which are quite good. Who even ask your grade when you can’t even name the most basic components in real life. Do you get me?

What do I wanna write here is that, stop with the mentality of pointer (GPA) students or skill students. Siapa pandai siapa tak pandai? No one ever likes for being put a fancy label or being downgraded. No one like it.

In my humble opinion, both are important. Skills and good grades. If i had to choose, i will just leave them at they are and just choose focus on learning. This is the real turning point. As for me, achieving dekan or whatsoever is more to self-achievement. Something you do for your own favour and not to impress or please someone else. It is more like you making yourself happier and feel happy inside. And you won’t be feeling depressed when you couldn’t achieve it because your goal is to learn.

The most important part being a dean list student (as for me), is not feeling you are better than anyone else and look down on another person. You are boasting around your GPA is okay that is yours to do so anyway, but to think anyone else is no better than you is a big NO. You are starting to have your own comfort zone is the dangerous weapon too. You are thinking you can do it the way you do it without the aim or goal to improve is for me, such a waste. You are starting to feel that, I’m in okay position I have always been in dean list in every semester, of course, i should have no or fewer worries. No. Fix that kind of mentality. I am reminding myself so hard that every time i have a lab session, i need to love this. i need to love this. girl you need to love this. so, later i am no more in awkward position, learning engineering but having zero skill. How come?

You are getting good grades are all 100% your efforts? Good grades are all thanks to your own intelligent genetics and your great skills, are to me (sorry to say this) is wrong(?). At least for me, i have a feeling that i am nowhere near achieving good result without the help of lecturers and also, the most unmentioned important people who help us a lot other than lecturers, are PJ (penolong jurutera). I have always thankful for them, teaching us from equipment and tools on how to pasang and buka them without an ounce of arrogant or any action to belittle us, since you know girls esp. are quite slow in tools, circuits and everything. I remembered there were days when we actually don’t understand the lab sessions, we don’t even know how and who can help us, the PJs came and patiently taught us along with useful tips. Not even once or twice but always. Being remembered on how lacking i am on every beginning of the semester, and till the day i am done with lab test which means i have the better understanding about labs and all, were all regards to them too (although i never express how much grateful i am). Never forget who help you.

GPA is not a measure of someone’s intelligence but more to one’s efforts. No? The top scorer in pop quiz and good in hands-on pbl projects are always from people not in DL or good scorer but the not DL one. But, of course, some of the good grades students are really excellent in the hands-on project too. Much respect for them.

Embrace whatever we have for now and be humble for it. Stay grounded.

I am hoping that everyone’s dream and goals are turning into reality soon. Work hard and never get distracted on your way to your goal. It may take time. It does. But it is not impossible. As long as you stay true to your goal, having a clear intention and vision, we all can achieve something. We all can learn something. Isn’t life itself is learning?

Oh, i am thankful for DL award when i am this lacking. ALHAMDULILLAH. I hope we all can make it this semester and we learn as much as we can.

All thanks for,

Allah who granted everyone’s doa and giving me this happy moment when i am this underserved.

Parents and family members that support me when i am this fragile and always giving me inspiration. All the doas that makes everything turns out so smooth that even i cant believe i faced those hard times.

Lecturers and PJs who patiently taught us again, again and again. THANK YOU. :’)

Friends that are always together through the ups and downs, happy and sad moments, with this journey that almost into three years period. How time flies?

CONGRATULATIONS EVERYONE. WE ARE THE BEST ON OUR OWN TALENT. WE HAVE TO GO UP! #BETRGRINDANDHUSTLE

Congratulation to our superwoman TANYILIN on your 4flat achievement. #awesome #coolcoolcool

Okay. Bye.

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Different.

It past midnight now, and I am seriously overthinking lately.

I think I am being hard towards myself and start asking myself what should I do with myself? I really hate blogging this kind of stuff but I somehow feel soooooooo (how do I put myself in words?) disappointed in me. I deeply mean, I feel so terrible.

I hate myself for being so anxious like this.

‘Am I being too hard on them?’

‘I should be less heartless, I should give in sometimes.’

These sometimes, being a routine. Eventually, becoming a habit of mine that destructively poisoned me inside.

‘It’s okay.’

‘If you are in minority, follow the majority. You’ll be safe that way.’

‘If something happened, closed your mouth and so your eyes. Nothing ever happen right?’

‘You have to follow and be okay for this and that kind of stuff, so you’ll be more likeable and have many friends.’

Comments on me:

‘You are unapproachable. I don’t like you.’

‘You are so cold hearted!’

‘Sombonggg..’

…..

OH MANNNN.

If and only if people really know why do some people never being too nice with the others, why do some people never let themselves have the gut to be as open or easy going as they actually can be, people would be so surprised at how actually they can do them well. The unfair stigma towards them is so unjust because I whose are a part of them, can really see the bad(s) and danger(s) both in me and people surround me when I act like that.

Outspoken. Too honest. Too firm. MANNNNNNNN!??!??

Oh, I hope I do stay that way. ( It is so selfish of me to stay so true to myself?) No, I’m not being stubborn. I do see my own lacking(s) . But, to say the truth straightforwardly and really at peace later is just good, rather than take a safe route saying good and talk back later. I just can’t take that so-called-safe-route. Why living yourself like that? It feels so trapped. Don’t you?

Silent on something need to be defended is not so me. I can’t brain this too.

Oh, toxic please go away.

I got lost in the deep sea of toxic.

Anyone who is feeling terrible like I am, here are the words from MindPlatter that i think can comfort us a lot. (Ig @najwazebian)

Don’t give them a taste of their own medicine. They already know what it tastes like, so give them the taste of your own medicine.

If they lied, let your medicine be honesty. If they played with your emotions, let your medicine be maturity. If they broke you, let your medicine heals… If they made you cry, let your medicine make them smile.

These remedies of yours may take years to work, but they work. And they last. So be patient. Stay true to yourself. And remember this; it is better for people to value you for who you are not for who you pretend to be. Who you are, lasts a lifetime. Who you are pretend to be, changes like the change in seasons.

Oh regardless, they are people who warmly accept me the way I am. ( no guys, i’m not being dipulaukan or whatsoever hehe. It just that my thoughts and me he.)

Disclaimer: It has nothing to do with anyone. Just me and my midnight thoughts. No offend.

BYE.

#nomoreemotionalblogpost

#nomoreemotionalblogpost

#nomoreemotionalblogpost

REAL BYE.

pretty ugly?

hi guys! first of all, sorry for not keeping up with the blog uwuuu… since i am more into particular person, it is time consuming for me to even post a blog topic hiuhiuuiu. i have a few drafts that not even finished yet, so i am working hard to blog about them all as soon as possible before i entering my third year college this September. (seriously, i am not mentally prepared and not that excited lolol..) okay, back to the topic. i personally don’t have any ideas to give a proper title for this blog post and end up with yeah pretty ugly? blog tittle. sorry if you guys think it is a bit cringe-worthy hahahah. to be honest, what a proper tittle should i put eh?

hahaha. put that awkward tittle aside, lemme share with you guys an interesting story i find today.

previously, i’m doing my normal day routine as i’m enjoying my precious holiday so much, mostly surfing this and that blog, facebooking (because i love to read IIUM confession muchy lololol..), twitter and insta a bit.

okay, lemme explain that this and that blog are including some korean blog sites that i usually read and follow up, other than local and asian bloggers. hahhaha. i know it is kind of weird but don’t take me wrong, they are blogs that i learn a lot and  i personally love their talk and discussion sessions hehehe.

so, when i am reading one of those korean blog sites, i click the teenstories section and i read them all because i’m freaking love their stories. but one of them, post title of something like giving tips on how to become a pretty i guess, (not really sure tho) become a hot post and i even read the comment section that is too long to read them all, so i just read the most upvotes one hihiii. and one of the commentators share real pretty words. it is from a child book author Roald Dahl. it is quite famous quote and it is really touches my heart :S so i think it will be a worth sharing for us 🙂

if a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. and when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until it gets so ugly you can hardly bear to look at it.

a person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. you can have a wonky nose and crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have a good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.

                                                                                                                                         ROALD DAHL

that’s why i have always fond people who are always positives and yet so graceful speakers. and yet they are all pretty/handsome hohoho.

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that’s all for today blog post. like finally, i did it. hahaha.

my grateful heart is thanking whoever reading this post .

byebye.